The dyslexic chef

“You are so stupid was something i was used to hearing when i was in primary school. Then high school came along and id already given up on caring what they had to teach me by this point. I hated school and everything it had to offer. High school wasn’t made to help me at all. Instead i would zone out into my own world of mischief. I was a burden, a nuisances, a trouble maker until i decided to just stop going. I would spend the days hiding at the beach with my friends because that was better then feeling unintelligent. I wanted to escape from the potential of getting called upon to read out loud or being put with all the other learning challenged kids in maths. 

I would count down the days till i could escape that horrible place. Never did i care about my education.

Until i went to cooking school.

There i wasn’t branded as anything other than an apprentice. I found people that encouraged me to be the best. Teachers that wanted to help, fellow students that wanted to be there just as much as i did and of course the love i felt for food.

Fast forward to my 20s and my vocabulary was far more then i could have hoped, however my spelling and grammar was still extremely poor. 

I had many head chefs put me down or laugh at me for this. But i was good at my trade i would think to myself. No matter what they would say i was still a good chef. At least i had that. 

Then i became the boss. I had finely earned the tittle as head chef. No more would i have to worry about feeling stupid or what people had to say. Well so i thought. 

By this stage we all had spell check on everything. Even though that fixes most words things still slip through the cracks.

When you have junior staff pointing out your many spelling mistakes on prep lists or other managers asking you to spell check menus things start getting hard again. For me i just started the very slow process of closing down. A world of anxiety, stress and feeling not good enough even though my food spoke for its self. 

However my job aloud me to go to training courses. To learn how to get the best out of my staff and become a great leader for them. 

I remember feeling so afraid at first to be going back to school. Of feeling simple in a room full of head chefs and mangers from all over. 

I had to have a different state of mind this time around. My bosses and fellow peers believed in me. That i could push through this challenge and become something more.

I learnt that we are all very different and learn in different ways.

 As a leader we must encourage others, be patient, use tools that can help develop our skills and be understanding of our strengths and weaknesses. 

For such a long time i was guarded and never asked for help or guidance. I thought by doing this i was showing strength not weakness. Turns out this is showing my inability for growth and development.  

Now being 30 i have made peace with being dyslexic. “ A word i can easily say but need to spell check”. 

I feel free from the chains that prevented me to write. I will not be held back from the stories i have always wanted to tell. And will not feel shame for the mistakes i make in them. 

I’m continually learning as a chef and a writer. 

The chef in me will always want to learn and the writer in me has many stories to tell.