Food is the fuel that keeps me going. Well the thought of it anyway. My fuel isn’t like yours, it sustains me but doesn’t provoke pleasure or desire.Maybe not even value.
It keeps me going none the less.
I do not cook for myself as it is a task i can not bring myself to start. Coffee, cigarets and what ever i need to taste get me through the hours of a working day.
when i finely finish I’m starving.
My days are spent smelling the sweetest of smells, working with the freshest of vegetables and the best cuts of meat. I am not hungry for any of it. What keeps me going isn’t food. Its success.
Success of my day and of my week. Food is my accomplishment.
What i can create for others is more fuel for my day then actually eating it.
This has always been my down fall. My weakness was to care more about your fuel then my own.
Most of us spend the day on our feet pivoting on the spot, a sort of tango with each other around corners and through doors. We push our minds and bodies for 10 plus hours a day and find breaks a waste as more prep could be done.
To step back from this mind frame is something we don’t do till we are older, till our knees start to get ache, our backs have sharp pains and wrists don’t quiet move as quickly as they use to.
I am not there yet, no aches or pains in my body but i need to preserve myself. An understanding that i cant live off sugar and black coffee.
The desire to not only give others pleasure in a mouth full of food but to put myself and my machine first.
To take a moment.
A break.
So with that i take my moment.
I eat with lust and passion in mind. I feed my soul before i feed yours and i harness my skills.
For if i don’t fuel this machine it will not run and i will not success in my dreams.
Desires of a chef 